Like I’ve been saying… he snapped.. he’s not the Cam we all know and love anymore. I’m not even sure if he ever was.
It hurts so much..it’s like I’ve lost him…I know Cole hates me and I..Sebastian is going to die soon and I just feel it and I’m so scared, I’m scared of talking to anyone about this…I’m so scared, I’m scared I’m losing myself and the only person that is making happy right now isn’t Sebastian and I feel so awful and just sick..I’m sorry I’m rambling.
I’m not dealing very well.. it was more than just a break up. It was finding out the guy I loved wasn’t even the person I thought he was. When I tried to leave he hit me… I never want to see him again.
…..He..what? I-I..I’m I don’t know what to say..I can’t say I really blame you, I can’t..even..just I’m sorry.
It’s more than just rehab for anorexia now, there was way more going on in his head than we knew about.. but just didn’t see. You know he lied to me, right? About everything? Not just about his mental health.. but buying that house and everything too. He didn’t buy a house, he was just telling me what I wanted to hear all this time so I wouldn’t leave him.
I’m just hoping they will help him you know? I know we didn’t and that kills me inside I didn’t see it you know? He…what? He said that to you..like really? Mike…I’m so sorry he said that to you. How are you dealing with things? I know break ups are really hard Mike…I know how much it can break you inside and hurts..and yeah.
Yeah.. yeah, it is.
You know he’s in rehab…but still it’s hard seeing as it seems like I’m losing everything you know? It makes me feel as if I’m a bad father and I can’t help my own kids.
What’s wrong dad?
It’s just Cam..you know? Don’t you feel like this family is cursed or something?
There was me thinking my life couldn’t get anymore fucked up and this happens.
Tell me hon?
I just know I’m going to lose something really soon….
It’s not silly at all, because she is amazing. Happy is great Uncle B! It’s always good to be happy, but are you worried about the random happiness or other things?
I guess I’m worried about being happy seeing as of everything that’s happened lately…. or well wants to come, I think I’m putting it off you know? But..I have a feel he could leave any day now and…I’m just trying to be happy for him.
What’s wrong Blainers?
Oh..I-I..it’s nothing I’m being silly and worried over nothing it doesn’t matter.
